Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Handling gifts that don't reflect our values

How do you handle a situation in which a casual acquaintance (who is not aware of your views regarding appropriate toys for your child) gives a gift that conflicts with your ideas regarding an appropriate toy for your child(ren)? A neighbor recently gave my twins a set of toy guns for a gift. We don’t allow toy weapons of any kind so I quietly re-packaged the gift and donated it. Fortunately, the boys are still young enough that they forgot about the gift and never noticed its absence. I’m curious if any other parents have experienced a similar situation and how did you handle it? Did you say something to the casual acquaintance or did you just let it go? Did you let the kid(s) keep it?

Thanks,
Kendall

2 comments:

Steering Committee said...

We face this regularly b/c both sets of Sadie's grandparents are Christian while we are Jewish. They in general respect our faith but can't help themselves from sending such things as Easter Dora or Christmas presents. In general, we generally say thank you and then decide whether or not to give the gift to Sadie. We also have declined gifts from others who are less close to us and have told Sadie why ... "We don't have such and such in our house." I figure it sets the stage for the future when she is deciding what is and is not acceptable in her life.

Shelli

P.A.W.S. Of GSV said...

While I don't have children living @ home any more the rule of thumb was to lay out in advance what was acceptable and what was not. This avoided a lot of misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Things like No Guns, make sure they are age appropriate and when possible gender neutral. Years later these friends thanked me for my guidelines which they now use in their families.
Peace & Hugs
H. Harbottle, San Jose.